+VITY +VITY +VITY ++++++ NOTE

Over the past few weeks, I have been undergoing “a go slow”. I used to wake up every morning asking myself “why? Why waste my time in traffic as well as fuel?” Yet when I get to the office, I spend 2 hours of my 8 hrs working and the rest I bum…

I had serious negative energy around me that I allowed it to get to me. I started shutting people out, easily getting irritated over small things that quite literally were lack of common sense fro some people (according to me)…..but hey…..we definitely have such apples in the basket. Truth is….I STARTED HATING MY JOB.

Last week, I got my results to my Hogans Assessment Test ( It’s a personality test. Google and try it out. Totally worth your 60 mins of your day). The funny truth is, I have always been fighting myself, trying to figure out who I am, my purpose and my results gave me a serious understanding on all that.

I can straight up tell you the reason as to why I act in a certain way as we speak. I realized why I was letting small things get to me….MY ATTITUDE was all wrong. Whatever small issue that I would come across, I would bitch about it…whatever small matter that would arise, I would bitch about it….asin I went all the way to judging books by the cover and not by their content…( I actually went against everything that I advise people). I quire literally became a bitter person for abit. As a result, I watched my trust with people diminish, some friendships deteriorate and my own relationship hit the wall. I did not care for anyone but myself at this point.

When I sat down to think about it, I realized, the world was not the problem, I WAS…I made myself hate situations instead of making the best out of them. I even stopped my normal morning routines; meditation and work-outs. I harbored the laziness which in return generated a lot of ANGER.

To get my balance back, was simple….CHANGE MY ATTITUDE…BE MORE POSITIVE…. You actually do get a lot out of POSITIVISM for some reason…. I guess it’s coz of the energy one invests in it. I have now gone back to working out twice a day, meditation every morning as well as changing in my diet. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous, but it actually works.

Another angle I took, CUT OFF ALL THE NON-ADDING VALUERS from my life. There are some bad weeds we have in our life who are always NEGATIVE and never want you to succeed. Anyone who doesn’t help me grow both spiritually, mentally and emotionally, I showed them the no entry sign…which is amazing as now I can focus more on other things that bring value to me.

I know, currently, I still have a lot to go through but I thought it would be best to share this with you because I know there are so many people out there who were or are in the same shoes as I was…FIRST STEP…. Evaluate yourself and accept. Find out where the problem is before getting the solutions that work for you to help you improve yourself.

 But the most important thing i took out of the experience....IS LOVE AND UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

#JUSTSAYING

Letter to the EX

Readers,

NO SPECULATIONS ALLOWED :-)

 Dear X,

I

  t has been awhile since we last spoke or even heard from each other. I hope all is well with you. In the ideal situation, I know you expect me to be bitter, sad and resentful but for some reason I’m not. I know it would be crazy for me to ask how your family is doing. So I will simply miss out on the cliché salutations and jump right into it.

S crolling back, I did enjoy all the happy moments we shared together. From waking up right next to you to touring around the world; learning different cultures and best of all, allowing ourselves to unleash the goofiest bits about ourselves that we couldn’t do in-front of other people. You made me realize the importance of comfort in one’s own skin as well as self confidence. G uys and girls came into our lives and we still had each other. Despite the numerous fights we had, we were still able to oversee such minor speed bumps in our relationship. At times I feel as if I was a tad bit naïve of the type of friends that we both kept. You would scold me over some of them in my life and all I thought was that you were insecure. Little did I know you had the best of my interests at heart. G & L  I still laugh when I come to think about this. We both entered our relationship with so much baggage and dirty linen but agreed to start afresh and not judge each other on what we had previously gone through. We painted clear pictures of our futures together. From our ideal type of families we would like to have to meeting each other’s families to spending holidays with our in-laws at that point. A nger, ANGer, ANGER was one of the things that pushed you into the other lady’s arms. I respect you for being honest but will never forgive you for cheating on me. I won’t say that I was perfect. I do agree that I had a part to play in that as well. I should have listened more proactively than condemn you every other time and act like I was the victim. J ust to say this for the record, I am actually better off without you but will always be grateful for the lessons as you were my first love. Anyway, in short, I am happy you were part of my life at some point. You may have left me in pain but I do believe the statement; TIME HEALS as we NEVER KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TILL WE LOSE IT. I hope you enjoy the rest of your life as you embark on the journey of starting our ideal family but with someone else. Love, Ms. X