REALITY vs LIMITS

So last week, met up with one of my gal’s and her story….I try to understand how some people are raised at times. I always listen to how men bitch about how women play with their minds and vice versa. What we never realize is we all complain about the same BLOODY things.

             MONEY

I love it when men complain about how we females are always chasing after your wallets. Wondered why? Here are two scenarios:

Scenario 1

You walk into…let’s say restaurant. Get a table by the door. Within your few seconds of scouting the room, your eyes lock with a flashy sexy lady who winks at you. Hmmm…two things may happen; you may ignore or if your man enough, smile back. With how most Kenyan men have been brought up, only gentlemen who aren’t TOO FULL of themselves will react….talking from experience…just saying….You pull out your tab, place your Iphone 6S on the table and pretend to fiddle with it. The lady walks up to you, says hi and drops off her card and asks you to give you a call before walking out. Would you call her? Let’s say you do and she invites your over to her posh penthouse that has the most amazing view of the city and you have a candle lit dinner on her balcony. A woman with power and MONEY…After a few weeks of spending time together, you realize she can get you the designer suits that you have always wanted to have…do you think it would hurt if she spared afew of her pocket change for you to have your suits? How about, she blows it out of the park and fly’s you to Milan to her your suits customized? Would you really let go?

Scenario 2

The typical case where a girl follows a man for his wallet….he pays her rent, nails, weaves (yes men….i said it….y’all bitch about how you hate em but still pay for em), buys her a car, gaudy jewelry, the list is endless.

What both scenarios have in common is simple…we aren’t satisfied by what we have. Which is fine…that should be your motivation to work harder and get it yourself. I know someone by now is asking, “What if he is willing to just give it to me?” Sweetie, he ain willing…he knows what he wants at the end of the game. It may take a week or years but when he cracks…HE WILL CRACK. Men…same applies, you will see how money controls you that you will just lay down like a lil pup and roll over whenever she says.

My question is, why not doing for you? Why do people have to use money to make others get attracted to them? Money comes…money goes…. I wonder what happens when it goes? I am not against accepting gifts that don’t have any carrots attached to them…by all means ACCEPT them…

         SELFISH

Both genders are definitely victims of this. We always want things our way. Someone would go out of their way to make you happy or comfortable that you forget the relationship is based on two people….turns out it is controlled by one person…We then turn around and realize the statement I have heard a bit one too many times “You never know what you have till you lose it”. The gal who is always by your side when you cheat on her, always have your back when you get into fights and cleans up your scars, always there when you need tissue to wipe your ass (OK. now that’s extreme)…or the guy who always picks you up from the club and you are totally plastered, holds back your weave when you are busy throwing up, always sits through all your whining about how you hate life…tsk tsk tsk…. dem good people out there…. May the Lord Bless your Souls

3PRETENCE

The two things I have been told about myself recently by several people, I am at times unapproachable…apparently I have a bitch face attitude if not that I am too frank. Oh well…guess what I have no apologies for that…with me…what you see is what you get. If you don’t like it, suck it for all I care. There is no way in hell I would ever put on a show to impress some nigga or bitch…. I AIN GOT TIME FOR THAT. Question, what happens when the show is over and the curtains are closed? Unleash of the monster. Then you come round and hear people complaining of how this person has changed. We have drifted…. BULLSHIT…If you didn’t realize all this from the word go, don’t come back 5 years down the line complaining

   FAKE

I do not hate (without a reason) but…. why would someone medically or physically change themselves for someone else? I find it so hilarious when I end up sitting down with either gender and we end up arguing if a chick’s hoo-ha’s are real? If that’s her hair? Is that her real butt? Does she have a waist trainer on? Someone once asked me how my butt randomly grew…. and its simple…..WORK OUT…. till to date…. she still doesn’t believe that…. oh well. But ladies…. not all men love CHINA…I’ve had arguments where we argue about make-up with guys…Some men may be attracted to the fantasy doll figure and look but others are madly in love with your natural self…LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELVES....and accept yourselves for how you are.

Now with just those 4 main issues touched on…what can one learn from this:

a)       Money may make you happy and shit but when it’s over what next? What if it doesn’t buy you the happiness you want? What next? Change the currency? For sure money IS EVERYTHING…but know how to control your OWN and not want OTHERS. If they are willing to share, INVEST in it wisely…. my confidant made me laugh when he told me if he was a gal and a GD (Gold Digger) what he would do with every cent he would get…..was tooooo hilarious….( story for another day)

b)      Good People: at times it is hard to be mean…. trust me I know that especially when you love the other person and you think they feel the same way about you. But it comes a time where you have to be the bigger wiser person and walk out. If someone doesn’t appreciate you, WALK OUT…For those married, don’t give up just yet COMMUNICATE…. If not, I’d say pay back that ain the answer really……try and look for a middle ground or the reason to the reaction. People just don’t change overnight unless you accepted the package as you started unwrapping it.

c)       BE YOU…. If he or she daen like it…. TOOO BAD someone else will and will totally appreciate you for who YOU ARE. I don’t how people keep on changing faces and scenes and there are idiots out there who still follow through… 

d)      At times all the above may not be practical or work for you…but over the past 2 years the one lesson I have learnt and always share it with almost everyone; WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. You know it because at the end of it all…. WE ALL HAVE A LIMIT TO OUR LOVE and once you get the guts to accept that and either walk out or change to improve the situation, trust me, you will never regret or look back. I said goodbye to all the silly flings I had and immature relationships I was in that just wasted my time. LEARN TO LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE AND WHO YOU ARE BEFORE YOU TAKE THE CHANCE TO LOVE SOMEONE ELSE…

+VITY +VITY +VITY ++++++ NOTE

Over the past few weeks, I have been undergoing “a go slow”. I used to wake up every morning asking myself “why? Why waste my time in traffic as well as fuel?” Yet when I get to the office, I spend 2 hours of my 8 hrs working and the rest I bum…

I had serious negative energy around me that I allowed it to get to me. I started shutting people out, easily getting irritated over small things that quite literally were lack of common sense fro some people (according to me)…..but hey…..we definitely have such apples in the basket. Truth is….I STARTED HATING MY JOB.

Last week, I got my results to my Hogans Assessment Test ( It’s a personality test. Google and try it out. Totally worth your 60 mins of your day). The funny truth is, I have always been fighting myself, trying to figure out who I am, my purpose and my results gave me a serious understanding on all that.

I can straight up tell you the reason as to why I act in a certain way as we speak. I realized why I was letting small things get to me….MY ATTITUDE was all wrong. Whatever small issue that I would come across, I would bitch about it…whatever small matter that would arise, I would bitch about it….asin I went all the way to judging books by the cover and not by their content…( I actually went against everything that I advise people). I quire literally became a bitter person for abit. As a result, I watched my trust with people diminish, some friendships deteriorate and my own relationship hit the wall. I did not care for anyone but myself at this point.

When I sat down to think about it, I realized, the world was not the problem, I WAS…I made myself hate situations instead of making the best out of them. I even stopped my normal morning routines; meditation and work-outs. I harbored the laziness which in return generated a lot of ANGER.

To get my balance back, was simple….CHANGE MY ATTITUDE…BE MORE POSITIVE…. You actually do get a lot out of POSITIVISM for some reason…. I guess it’s coz of the energy one invests in it. I have now gone back to working out twice a day, meditation every morning as well as changing in my diet. I know that sounds a bit ridiculous, but it actually works.

Another angle I took, CUT OFF ALL THE NON-ADDING VALUERS from my life. There are some bad weeds we have in our life who are always NEGATIVE and never want you to succeed. Anyone who doesn’t help me grow both spiritually, mentally and emotionally, I showed them the no entry sign…which is amazing as now I can focus more on other things that bring value to me.

I know, currently, I still have a lot to go through but I thought it would be best to share this with you because I know there are so many people out there who were or are in the same shoes as I was…FIRST STEP…. Evaluate yourself and accept. Find out where the problem is before getting the solutions that work for you to help you improve yourself.

 But the most important thing i took out of the experience....IS LOVE AND UNDERSTAND YOURSELF

#JUSTSAYING