THANK YOU

We at times take for granted some of the things we have in life;
We forget of the simple things we are blessed with in life;
At times to the extent of taking advantage of them or not appreciating at all.

This life is too short to take for granted;
This note is a thank you note;
This goes to all the people who I've  have met in my journey of life;
Those who have added value;
Those who wasted my time and made me wiser;
Those who never believed and now are left amazed;
And of course those closest to me.

I am thankful to my CREATOR;
He is the one who has enabled me to get to where I am right now;
Given me the opportunity to create my own life story;
Make a difference in other people's lives
And ability to see another day;
With all my senses and physical ability intact;
And not lacking in anyway.

I am thankful for my MOTHER;
She has been my rock;
She has been my comforter;
She has been my provider;
She has been my worst enemy yet a best friend;
She has been my adviser and manager;
She has been my ALL.
She's seen me at my best and worst;
And still told me to hold my head high and everything will work out despite me seeing things crashing in front of my face.

I am thankful for my FAMILY;
We may not see eye to eye but at the end of it all;
FAMILY IS FAMILY.
Can't change them.
I am most thankful for the doubt that they have instilled in me my whole life;
That's what I believe has made me as strong as I am right now.

I am thankful for all my SISTERS n BROTHERS;
Always a phone call away;
Always a chat away;
Always a drive away;
We may be on and off;
Not kept tabs (my apologies);
But I always have you in my heart.
We may fight and go on for months with no communication;
But once I call you sibling; that's something that will NEVER change;

I am thankful for all the TRUE FRIENDS in my life;
Not the acquaintances I have met;
Not the two timing snakes;
But the ride or die people I've come across.;
We may have not started off on the right note;
But our friendship is worth the growth.

I am thankful for all the TIME WASTERS I have met;
You too have to be appreciated;
You have made me wiser;
You have made me smarter;
And you have made me more keen to look out for idiots like yourself.

I am thankful for my PAST RELATIONSHIPS;
I have been hurt many times;
I have cried many times;
I have seen sides of me that I never imagined existed.
I have become stronger;
I have become more cautious;
I have become a different person in comparison to when we first met.

I am thankful for my MENTORS;
I hate the truth;
But you feed it to me;
I hate reality at times;
But you're there to always keep me afloat;
And realize the reality of the matter.

I am especially thankful to my CONFIDANT;
I am thankful for the time you create to hear me out;
I am thankful for the ability to stand my madness;
I am thankful for you accepting me for who I am;
I am thankful for the tolerance and patience you have with me;
You are my drug of sanity;
My backbone;
My adviser;
My partner in crime;
And my reflection/ reality mirror.

For those who will get a chance to read this;
You do know where you stand in my life;
And I am thankful I met you;
I am thankful our paths crossed;
I am thankful you touched my life;
Apologies to those I may have wronged or offended;
But thanks for the lessons;
I'm thankful you made it possible for me to paint the colors on my canvas of life.
I may not get to tell you this in person;
But I am THANKFUL.

XXIVVVIIIIX

A

stonished by your words,
I look at you in disbelief and head towards the door;
Memories running haphazardly through my mind,
Tears gashing down my cheeks.
How could you say that?
To my face?
After all that we have been through?
As the doors to the elevator close, i look at you for the last time and turn away.
My dignity doesn't allow our eyes to lock contact.
As the driver joins the highway, i turn back and look at the light to your penthouse...
Memoirs...

B

ack tracking...
Your first words,
Most corniest word placement i have heard,
But you managed to make me smile.
We had an intriguing conversation that lead to our lips locking into a random kiss.
I pulled back but your eyes mesmerized me.
You pulled in for another kiss and this time i didn't stop you.
I wanted more.
We exchanged numbers,
And you disappeared into the crowd.
You left a desire that i didn't want but couldn't get rid of.

C

ommunication was amazing.
You were the best friend a girl needed at that time.
Someone who listened,
Someone who cared,
You made time in your busy schedule for me.
The first time i let you close to me,
You taught me all the colors on the rainbow
And their true meanings.
You became my teacher.

D

ay in, day out I controlled my emotions for you,
Till you opened up to me and showed your scars.
What we shared was deep and close,
Because I had similar scars.
The pain and urge of desiring to heal is what brought us closer.
We both were each others support systems.

E

veryday, we grew fonder of each other.
You'd call me and I'd get all bashful like a lil child,
Heart racing out of its cavity.
Seeing your smile always melted me away.

F

amily,
We spoke about starting our own family.
We even shared values that we had from our upbringing.
Your family was my family,
And my family was yours.
We imagined our perfected home,
And discussed how we'd raise our lil cherubs.

G

etting to see each other...
I would say was difficult due to our different schedules and hectic livelihoods,
That to some point,
We back too busy to make time for each other but we never realized it.
Though we always supported each others work.
"I'll always be your #1 fan no matter what people tell you or what happens"
I remember those words soo vividly.
We appreciated each others artistry.
We challenged each other to be better than what we already were.
We believed in each other.
We pushed each other to the limits...

Schreeeech....
'Sorry Ma'am. You know how silly drivers can be at this hour,' says the chauffeur.
'No. It's fine.' I keep staring out of the window and stare into the red light....

H

ELL BROKE LOOSE!!!
Emotions grew.
The L word became a reality.
We entered a grey phase,
We couldn't define what we were.
We fought over silly things,
You said I was the one,
Yet in public I was just another gal;
A cheerleader in your cheer wagon
But I stood out whenever you needed back up,
And made you realize,
I was your #1 girl.

I

 was there for you.
Whenever you needed to cry,
I was there to wipe your tears.
Whenever you wanted to vent,
I was your punching bag.
Whenever you achieved something,
I was the first you would share the news with and congratulate you.
When you were sick,
I'd be the one nursing your pains.

J

ust one problem,
We had communication problems!
Whenever we fought,
We wouldn't address the real issue.
We would push it to the side.
I tried to push you to talk to me,
But I guess I was to read in-between the lines.
I didn't see the signs.

K

eeping abreast with this,
Pushed you further away from me.
Pushed you to someone else
All the plans and dreams we had,
Secrets we shared,
Decisions we made together.
Vows we took...
Sacrifices we made...

L

uggage was pulled out by the driver,
I took my phone and looked at your number,
Delete.
All the pictures we took together,
Delete.
The door was opened and the driver stood by the side.
I walked out,
And the next words i heard were,
"You'll be fine Ms. Wherever you decide to go, you will have a better start."
And with that, I hugged him and walked to the terminal.

M

oney in hand,
I paid for my ticket out of the country.
I needed to be away,
Far far away from you.
The pain was too unbearable.
I couldn't stand seeing you with another person.
All I could think of was the lies.
The pain.
Confusion.

N

ot once did you ever tell me what upset you.
Yes!
Maybe I didn't listen carefully.
I didn't pay attention.
But still that was a foul play.
We had been through too much for sooo long

O

ff to the boarding gate,
And how I wished you would miraculously come running after me,
Then I remembered,
That only happens in movies.

P

assing all these people was shameful,
Running mascara,
Tear trails,
Running nose,
I was a mess.
I got to my seat and buckled up.
With my hands on my tummy,
Eyes fixated on the runway,
It was time for a new chapter.

Q

uick Sand.

That’s how we ended.

Just like quicksand,

I disappeared from your life.

Was a good run while it lasted though.

 Every single minute was magical and worth every fight.

R

eality sunk in,
As I watched the city lights below me slowly seem like fireflies the higher we went.
I plugged in my earphones,
Hoping to escape from the situation.
I turn on my ipod,
And the first track that plays;
Our favorite song.
I fast forward and one track catches my attention.
 RIDE OR DIE-Acehood ft Trey Songs
 What I promised you...
The first song I listened to...
Listened to when we lost our baby...

S

oul searching,
I did die...
I DIED IN YOUR EYES.

GAL CODE

We always read about BOY CODE and always hear the same ish day in day out but why is it that us girls never abide to it? Why is it that we stab each other way into deep and yet our bonding is more stronger than the guys?

GIRL CODE #1

Be True to yourself.
You will never be true to others if you can't be true to yourself. Honesty is the one virtues that the human brain needs in order to sustain sane relationships with not only oneself but with others around them. BE TRUE GAL.

GIRL CODE#2

Sisterhood is stronger than BALLS...
Its soo funny how we always tend to pick dudes over ourselves. We actually break our sisterhood bonds in order to be with a guy. At the end of the day, the guy will taste you, use you then leave you by yourself and you ask yourself, "was it really worth it?" I've watched gals go through that countless of times and i have also been a victim of this; left for a man. Coming back to re-work this realtionships is usually not that easy because it is broken hearts coming together to work things out. At times it may be successful. At times it may never be workable. Tip: Is he really worht it? is he really worth losinf a sister?

GIRL CODE #3

Sharing is caring
We are known to talk alot...in comparison to the male species. Whenever we undergo issues, we fall back onto our gals as venting pillows or shoulders we ca lean on. Like i always say, a problem shared is half solved. Whenever you talk an issue out, you feel a light weighted lifted off your shoulders and at the same time a nother gal could easily relate to it. I shared that experience with 3 of my gals who are now more like sisters to me..... A PROBLEM SHARED IS HALF SOLVED.

GIRL CODE #4

We are all the same.
Despite the color, race, religion or beliefs, we are ALL THE SAME. We share things that men can never share or better yet understand about us. So instead of bashing the bitch next to you, talking smack about the way she looks or even trashing her at her weakest point, lend out your helping hand to her because in sooo many different ways, she may turn out to be just like you or when you least expect it she may be the one giving you a helping hand.

GIRL CODE#5

Don't mess with my man....
I have no idea why we always want to have something that we can't have. Of course the temptation of getting something that isn't yours is always an adrenaline rush but honey, there is no way in which ever continent that pulling out each others hair looks sexy in front of a man. you just look PLAIN DUMB STUPID.... asin really? Yes there's something called fighting for your man but gals, men wan t women who will not pull LOCO stunts in public. Yes he may grab a gals ass or random stares at her what you can simply do is pull him to the side and tell him that he needs to respect you and trust you me, HE WILL....When you pull up your drama stunt, he will continue doing the same shit over and over again and enjoy every moment of you acting stupid, leave you and move with the less dramatic gal...now would you want that? Be the elegant one and walk away and if he daen listen to you, then it's about time you leave his ass at the door way.



At the end of the day, if a gal daen respect the bond that they have with their fellow gal, sweety hit the bitch to the curb because she ain worth your time or energy.And she DEFINITELY ain A SISTER or  a GAL...gals, its time you check your list of friends and see who are your sisters and your bitches...time to trim off the unwanted weight.

2014

I made new year's resolutions way before the year came to an end and I had about 10-12 things on my to do list....we are now in February,,,So far sooo good...only problem is I ain keeping up with one of them...MY BLOGG....

I have such a crazy schedule that at times i forget that i need ME TIME...I have to balance between work, my new business venture and the things i run in the house. At the same time i have been fighting with my own personal issues and trying to get a hang of certain dynamic changes in my life. I tend to realize i forget about myself. Well, some things have to definitely change.  And we can start from here...

For starters,
 I started writing this beginning of the year...I was on the right track if i may say...but  i wasn't sure on what to write on. I didn't have writer's block either. ( I have a notebook filled with different notes and ideas I had over the past few weeks). 6 weeks into the year is when I finally got it together.

I always get questions from my friends, family and people who stumble upon my blog asking "what is it about?" "do you write about experiences you have gone through?" "Are the stories real?" "If the stories are about you should bring down your photo..." and i'm like...WAIT A MIN...WHAT???

My writings are all based on true stories my friends have shared with me or stories I've experienced myself. In My Eyes Journal is about how I see things and how other people try to make me see things in their perspective. Its basically real life stories through my writings and feel. I usually ask for consent from the story bearer's (if that's even the right name) and edit their names for security and confidentiality purposes.

At one point or another, i have come to realize, I either relate to the stories that i have been told and 99% of the time, someone else also does. I always try to see people's opinion and always give a word of advice where i can because you never know who is reading the blog and what they could be going through...

2014...In My Eyes will have bits and pieces of new things...like baking recipes, on and off make-up and fashion tips that i may learn (I'll try), cooking tips and ofcourse stories to relate to. Plus bits and more pieces of what I experience. This is my canvas of expression and so are my audio journals that I will soon start loading...

2014..is all about me...and the new adventures and lessons that I embark on...I hope you will still be supporting me by reading. Your readership means alot to me as it gives me the energy and determination to carry on.

Hope to see you soon.

And feel free to give me comments on the stories.

Time for CHANGE...

Time to ACTIVATE 2014...

Happy reading.

When She Cries

 When she cries,
All happiness and joy is wiped off from her face,
She can no longer pretend to hold it in and say "Everything is Ok"

When she cries,
She lets her guard down,
Falls vulnerable in the eyes of the world.

When she cries,
She doesn't care about who sees her,
Or how the world thinks of her.

When she cries,
 She lets her mascara run down her cheeks,
And let the tears draw lines down her flawless face.

When she cries,
It's not a sign of weakness,
But a sign of expression.


When she cries,
She doesn't think about what will happen next,
But concentrates on the emotions at hand,
Wondering: "what next?"



#sigh#

Just a random thought...not poetry.

ECLIPSE

An eclipse is a rare experience. When do you ever hear that the sun or moon have crossed each other’s paths? It is such a beautiful site. Be it a lunar or solar eclipse….and for just a few minutes, there is either a shadow or complete darkness and soon the experience is over. Though it’s funny how, when u look at the sun with your bare eyes on a normal day, you don’t get any effect but during an eclipse, your eyes actually do hurt and you have to wear the protective UV glasses. Coming to think about it…where do guys store them? Hmmmm

In reality, we do experiences eclipses; the point in life where one is stuck in a dark situation and is struggling to find their way out. We tend to fight ourselves till the path ways are finally clear. The sad bit is by the time we are finding the way out…we are damaged. Just like looking at the sun during an eclipse…..it stings, is painful and to some can actually leave you blind. One tends to cry their heart out, fight themselves, others enter depression, while others fight with denial.

Though others have the protective film all over themselves and they are able to glide through the situation because they know how to handle it. Fighting their way out though sing the right techniques. Then we tend to wonder: How the hell did you pull though it? I believe it’s the mentality of once bitten twice shy….

At the end of the day, it is just a passing trial. Which are to make s stronger, smarter and careful. We aren’t super heroes….that is for sure but we can overcome the 15 minutes of darkness and take it to be an experience that we will never forget because in reality we all experience different situations that still have the same note if not effect; right?