2014

I made new year's resolutions way before the year came to an end and I had about 10-12 things on my to do list....we are now in February,,,So far sooo good...only problem is I ain keeping up with one of them...MY BLOGG....

I have such a crazy schedule that at times i forget that i need ME TIME...I have to balance between work, my new business venture and the things i run in the house. At the same time i have been fighting with my own personal issues and trying to get a hang of certain dynamic changes in my life. I tend to realize i forget about myself. Well, some things have to definitely change.  And we can start from here...

For starters,
 I started writing this beginning of the year...I was on the right track if i may say...but  i wasn't sure on what to write on. I didn't have writer's block either. ( I have a notebook filled with different notes and ideas I had over the past few weeks). 6 weeks into the year is when I finally got it together.

I always get questions from my friends, family and people who stumble upon my blog asking "what is it about?" "do you write about experiences you have gone through?" "Are the stories real?" "If the stories are about you should bring down your photo..." and i'm like...WAIT A MIN...WHAT???

My writings are all based on true stories my friends have shared with me or stories I've experienced myself. In My Eyes Journal is about how I see things and how other people try to make me see things in their perspective. Its basically real life stories through my writings and feel. I usually ask for consent from the story bearer's (if that's even the right name) and edit their names for security and confidentiality purposes.

At one point or another, i have come to realize, I either relate to the stories that i have been told and 99% of the time, someone else also does. I always try to see people's opinion and always give a word of advice where i can because you never know who is reading the blog and what they could be going through...

2014...In My Eyes will have bits and pieces of new things...like baking recipes, on and off make-up and fashion tips that i may learn (I'll try), cooking tips and ofcourse stories to relate to. Plus bits and more pieces of what I experience. This is my canvas of expression and so are my audio journals that I will soon start loading...

2014..is all about me...and the new adventures and lessons that I embark on...I hope you will still be supporting me by reading. Your readership means alot to me as it gives me the energy and determination to carry on.

Hope to see you soon.

And feel free to give me comments on the stories.

Time for CHANGE...

Time to ACTIVATE 2014...

Happy reading.

When She Cries

 When she cries,
All happiness and joy is wiped off from her face,
She can no longer pretend to hold it in and say "Everything is Ok"

When she cries,
She lets her guard down,
Falls vulnerable in the eyes of the world.

When she cries,
She doesn't care about who sees her,
Or how the world thinks of her.

When she cries,
 She lets her mascara run down her cheeks,
And let the tears draw lines down her flawless face.

When she cries,
It's not a sign of weakness,
But a sign of expression.


When she cries,
She doesn't think about what will happen next,
But concentrates on the emotions at hand,
Wondering: "what next?"



#sigh#

Just a random thought...not poetry.

ECLIPSE

An eclipse is a rare experience. When do you ever hear that the sun or moon have crossed each other’s paths? It is such a beautiful site. Be it a lunar or solar eclipse….and for just a few minutes, there is either a shadow or complete darkness and soon the experience is over. Though it’s funny how, when u look at the sun with your bare eyes on a normal day, you don’t get any effect but during an eclipse, your eyes actually do hurt and you have to wear the protective UV glasses. Coming to think about it…where do guys store them? Hmmmm

In reality, we do experiences eclipses; the point in life where one is stuck in a dark situation and is struggling to find their way out. We tend to fight ourselves till the path ways are finally clear. The sad bit is by the time we are finding the way out…we are damaged. Just like looking at the sun during an eclipse…..it stings, is painful and to some can actually leave you blind. One tends to cry their heart out, fight themselves, others enter depression, while others fight with denial.

Though others have the protective film all over themselves and they are able to glide through the situation because they know how to handle it. Fighting their way out though sing the right techniques. Then we tend to wonder: How the hell did you pull though it? I believe it’s the mentality of once bitten twice shy….

At the end of the day, it is just a passing trial. Which are to make s stronger, smarter and careful. We aren’t super heroes….that is for sure but we can overcome the 15 minutes of darkness and take it to be an experience that we will never forget because in reality we all experience different situations that still have the same note if not effect; right?

Gravity

Something always brings me back to u,

And never takes too long,

No matter what i say or do,

I still feel u to the moment am gone!

 You hold me without touch,

And keep me without chains!

I never wanted anything so much,

Than to drown in ur love n not feel ur reign!

Set me free,

Let me be,

I don wanna fall anada moment into ur gravity.

Here i am,

And i stand so tall,

Just the way am supposed to be but,

Ur on to me,

n all over me!

You loved me coz am fragile,

And i thought i was strong,

But you touch me 4 a lil while,

And all ma fragile strength is gone!

Set me free,

Let me be,

I don wanna fall anada moment into your gravity.

Here i am,

And i stand so tall,

Just the way am supposed to be but,

Ur on to me,

N all over me!

I leave hia on ma knees,

As i try to make you see that,

Everything you think i need,

Here on the ground,

But you're neither friend or foe,

Though i can't seem to let you go,

But one thing i still know is,

You're keeping me down! 

You're keeping me down!

Yeah!

You're on to me,

And all over.

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long!!!!!!

Have u ever felt this way? When the "GRAVITY" pulls you down n it just controls u??

When u can’t fight it n u just want give in?

What do u do next?

A Cry

A cry for help,
A cry of sadness
A cry of sorrow
A cry of a lonely heart
A cry of not having what we want
A cry of hopelessness
A cry 4 love
A cry of pain

A child raised with morals n values,
A child brought into a world of love
But has to fight the cruel world all alone
With all the negativity, judgment and neglecting
With time, as a human you eventually adapt to your surroundings.

Left alone,

Feeling helpless,
Alone,
Scared
And all alone
But with the love around, it’s not strong enough.

Fighting and making your own stand to be a force to reckon with was all that the child could do.
Fit in with the others, camouflage and blend in
Wrong crowd but bears a life changing experience that leaves child weak though strengthen through the inner child.

But wait?

Is it too late for family intervention?
Child is already lost to the world of lies, deceit, pain and insecurity.

No! No! Leave me alone! You’re hurting me but no one comes to her rescue

Scarred for life.
Ashamed
Hurt and in pain.
Psychological trauma? Maybe

Child wonders deep into the world
Experimental
But doesn’t fill what was lost
One little mistake and child discovers, she’s alone and nowhere to run to but home
In pain,
In tears
In anger
“Why me?”
Child learns the hard way and cant change the person they are

Do things get better?

Witness a life threatening situation
Witness many troopers fall along the way
Witness oneself in the grave

“Where am I?” “Someone please help”

I’ve come to realize that in life, so much goes on, the stories we hear about other people are at times scary and yet we still judge them and at times make fun of them.
Question is 10 years down the line what if this happens to your child?
Or life experiences are like a footpath where we wipe off the footprints and scenarios we wouldn’t want others to experience?
Question is will you be there to listen or judge
Be the tissue and shoulder needed?

SPEECHLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Is ur punchline just a joke?
Il neva talk again,
Oh boy uv left me speechless,
Uv left me spechless,
So speechless.
N il neva love again,
Oh boy u left me speechless
Uv left me speechless,
So speechless

I cant blv hw u slured at me,
With ur half wide broken jaw
U popped my hearties
Ol dried up bubbled dreams!!!!
I no its complicated!!!

And after all the drinks and bars wiv bin 2,
Would u give it all up,
Could u give it al up 4 u
if i promised to you
And after the boys and girls wiv bin thru
Would u give it all up,
Could u u give it all up,
If i promised boy to you..........



Thats hw we feel wen we loose a loved one,argue with a loved one in life!!!the above words r lyrics inspired by Lady Gaga wen ha father was in hospital battlin ut cancer and left me wondering,wat would happen next?
What do we do wen we luz a lvd one?
Fight with a loved one?
The number of things we say to them o wish we neva had said to them,
The number of things we wish we said o did with them?
Alot of things have happended in my life and some have pulled me down,destroyed me,get closer to people but at the end of hte wat happens next?
I no we have all lost loved ones and we always ask ourselves y did they have to go and at tyms y not us awaselves?
There some situations wea we feel like we no longer wan b on this earth,cacoon ourselves in our own pods and just segregate ourselves 4rm everyone else!!!
What happens wen ur all alon n have no wea to go to?
Wen the one pason u trusted is no longer there?
Wen the pason u thot was ur life kills u n takes away ur reason to live?
When u don undastand y al dis is happenin to u n jus wana run?

Thinkk of it this way
A trial in life that strengthens u,
Mkes u stronger and builds u!!!

I dedicate this to all the loved ones wiv lost thru this lifetym and neva understood y it happend!!!!

CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENT..........


MWAH!!

As day comes,
And night falls,
for the rest of our life,
Life must go on.
Tho I stil mourn y u had  to go!!!

MAY THEIR SOULS REST IN PEACE

Marilyn Monroe

No matter how much we deny it, we all have a lil/ mini Marilyn Monroe in us all.

The general perception I have seen and heard about Ms. Norma Jeanne Mortenson, is basically a sex symbol. Yes, she had crazy mad sex appeal and all but at the end of the day, she left a story and legacy behind. I didn't know much about her deeply till I watched a movie based on her and read about her.

We ladies have our days where we feel sexy and just want to spoil ourselves. Others think that they are sexy and try to pull it off while others believe they are sexy and you can tell from the way they talk, walk, dress and at times from something as simple as a glance or smile. And I mean SEXY please don't confuse it with TRASHY/SLUTY or just plain DESPERATE. Nah that ain what I’m referring to. From talking to some people, I realized that most women make themselves feel sexy from materialistic things. Like lingerie, clothes, shoes, make-up, certain piercings and the list could go on. I ain condemn it or anything coz once in awhile I do fall victim to that. Others go to the extent of even changing their names to Monroe... (Please mark I ain hating on anyone). The general stereotype of Monroe is a sexual blonde bombshell; cleavage, short naughty outfits and one who tempts many men. True or false?

Other than living life on the fast lane, Norma battled several demons. From a tender age, she had to grow up with different fathers, moved from one foster home to another and having a mother who was a drunk. Left alone in this world when her mother passed away and had no idea on what to do. Life comes easy to most of us and some of us struggle just like Monroe to make it. It ain easy but we gatta do what we gatta do to get there; not knowing which way to take or which path to follow. She made life seem to be sooo easy and simple; little did some people know that she was battling a drug addiction that she picked from one of her marriages. We all fight with our own demons daily. From stress in our relationships to family issues, substance addictions, religious uncertainty, self realization, financial challenges. 

One thing that I have seen about Marilyn, she was no quitter. She struggled till she made it.

At a young age, she escaped the tormenting horror of rape and gave herself motivation to be the legend that she is today. Been true to herself made her get to the top n get the opportunity to be on the lips of many and even get the chance to sing for one of the American presidents. Despite going through several divorces, she knew what she wanted in life and where she wanted to be.

At times we wake up each morning and just like Monroe, place a mask and tell ourselves that everything is ok and the world daen have to know what we are going through.

Think about it...

Don't you agree that in one way or another you do have a lil Monroe attributes in you?

And don't forget; you don't have to be a blonde, skinny or even use materialistic things to make yourself fell sexy. 

YOU ARE SEXY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Listen to this track... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDl7wtHl1XE

 My source of inspiration.